(Almost).

What a difference between 40 and 41, not because I feel older, wiser, more tired or more mature - but because collectively we have endured a radical shift in the way things are.

My guess is you feel it too. The change, the hardship, the freedom we are all experiencing in different ways.

One year ago today, I was putting on my party earrings and headed to work at a job I loved. I was content with my schedule, my life, my progress and my relationships.

Today, I’m also content with my schedule, life, progress and relationships - but everything is different. I’m at a crossroads. My family is at a crossroads. Nearly everyone I know is in a similar situation of navigating a ship in uncharted waters.

Right now my biggest challenge is one of my best strengths. I love to plan. I plan for fun, I plan for work, my mind feels at ease when I am formulating a plan. The yoga teacher in me knows this is good work: a planner faced with an uncertain future, an ever-changing climate that neutralizes plans. It is mindfulness in daily practice, like it or not, to be here now, because we don’t get the luxury of being secure in our knowledge of what comes next.

My fellow planners, my people also standing in a crossroads, what tools are you using to be mindful, and to move forward?

Here are mine:

Expand.

Moving daily. I’ve got extra free-time and I’m making it a priority. Even with an 18 month old who rotates between getting into the dog food, compost and stairs, I put as much as I can on the counters, block off the stairs and let him hang around while I practice heart-centered movement, I mean cardio too - jumping jacks and burpees to get it all out.

Writing again. I’ve got the time.

Dreaming of plans that fit into the uncertain mold of the near and not-so-near future. The newness brings an unfamiliar layer into any plans I make - there are many more “what-ifs” than ever before, and they force creativity, the need to think in a different way like I’ve ever thought before. This is expansive.

Connect.

Being outside as much as I can. With my hands in the dirt, with my feet clocking miles, for a meal or a cup of coffee. This is essential. Connecting to the earth and staying close to it. Our environment is our truest guide as we face the unknown in this time.

Calling friends. My good friends and I are in close contact, we talk often, but these last months have highlighted the importance of staying in touch. Of course there are people I should call more often, but this weekly practice is an essential activity for me. I hope the same for you too.

Processing food. I’m a cook, pre-pandemic we ate nearly every meal at home, that part was an easy transition (but I love a good restaurant and yearn for the day I can feel safe inside one). One thing I’ve been practicing in the last couple months is processing and storing food from our gardens. We went big on the gardens this year - yes, two. And we’ve got more than we can eat. I’m learning to can, refining my pickling, and stuffing my freezer. It’s therapeutic and just right in this mildly pre-apocalyptic atmosphere we are in. It takes planning, and preparation, it has a steady repetition and a sense of accomplishment, looking at all the jars of home-grown goodness ready to store is remarkably satisfying.

This is 41. A practice in mindfulness, creativity and slowing down. And as I consider what things will look like at 42, I stop and remind myself I don’t get to plan that far ahead. Instead I will focus on tomorrow and Saturday, give a little thought to Sunday, and leave it there.